To: 2017 Academy Award Winners
From: The Rest of America
When you give your acceptance speeches, thank your publicist, limo driver, manicurist, masseuse, day nanny, night nanny and weekend nanny. Your attorney Marty Singer for killing that salacious National Enquirer story. Thank your spouse, children, middle school drama teacher. Your astrologist and psychologist. Thank your pool boy and gardener, accountants, assistants, Pilates teacher, hot yoga instructor, teeth-whitening dentist and most of all, Bosley and Botox.
You can even thank Wolfgang Puck for naming a pizza after you.
But please, stay off politics.
We’re exhausted. – Stephanie Mansfield
