Thinking Out Loud: Meet Candidate Trump Part II

There being so many lies, boasts, non sequiturs, and self-serving statements that Donald Trump either utters on purpose or out of ignorance, a second column documenting them is necessary.

(The questions below are representative composites. The answers in Italics are actual Trump quotes.)

“Mr. Trump, recently you stated that South Korea pays us nothing to station U.S. troops there. They actually pay us $700 million a year. You said the five Taliban operatives swapped for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl are ‘back on the battlefield.’ They have never left the nation of Qatar, where they were originally sent. You once Tweeted that 81 percent of white murder victims are killed by blacks. Actually, 82 percent of white murder victims are killed by whites. How do you explain these discrepancies?” “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

“Mr. Trump, you once said you didn’t want a black man counting your money. Does that sound racist?” “The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yamakas every day.” Do you mean yarmulkes, Mr. Trump?”

“Mr. Trump, you profess to be a devout Christian. Jesus said, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ Do you agree with that? “When someone crosses you, my advice is ‘Get Even!’ That is not typical advice, but it is real life advice. If you do not get even, you are just a schmuck! 

“Mr. Trump, you have questioned the president’s citizenship, yet he has a genuine birth certificate proving he is a U.S. citizen.” “A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate.” “Huh?”

“Mr. Trump, you avoided serving in Vietnam with five draft deferments, the fifth being a sketchy “medical deferment” in which a doctor claimed you were unfit to serve. Yet you disparage Senator John McCain, who most people think is a war hero for enduring torture and starvation while a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.”

“Mr. Trump, several years back you said of David Duke, whom you specifically identified at the time as a member of the Ku Klux Klan, ‘I don’t need his endorsement; I certainly don’t want his endorsement.’ Now you are back tracking.”  “Well, just so you understand, I don’t know anything about David Duke. OK?

“Any parting thoughts?” One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”

“For once, I totally agree, Mr. Trump.”