As you may know, James Harrison, a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, recently refused to allow his two sons to keep trophies that they had been awarded for participating in sports.
Harrison wrote in explaining his decision, “I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing — participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best.”
I side with Harrison, who knows something about earning what comes to him. Signed by the Steelers as an undrafted free agent in 2002, he was cut three times before finally catching on with the Steelers, where, after a rocky start, he was selected to the Pro Bowl five times, and was named the Associated Press’s Defensive Player of the Year for 2008. And those honors didn’t come his way because he merely “participated.”
Harrison has touched a nerve — polls show overwhelming support for his decision — because the gist of his common-sense complaint is that there is a big difference between effort and accomplishment, and the more we blur that distinction the more it will handicap those who aren’t taught the difference (especially our children) and expect to be rewarded just for “trying their best.” This entitlement mentality isn’t just in sports, but also in the real world, including — actually especially — the career world. Those young people whose bedrooms are filled with “Participation Trophies” handed out to winners, losers, players and bench sitters alike, will come to expect that jobs will be given to them, followed by promotions and pay raises, simply because they show up at work on time five days a week. Indeed, we have already seen this phenomenon in the Millennial generation, the first to be massively rewarded with “Participation Trophies.” Studies show that they are surprised, and become confused and even depressed to learn that succeeding in their careers and in their lives is measured not just by “trying their best,” but by actually accomplishing goals.
So kudos to James Harrison for instilling in his two sons a proper sense of perspective. My guess is they have a better chance of succeeding in life than the young boy in a Little League in Oklahoma, whose father recently wrote, “Thanks little league for failing my son and disappointing him as well,” because, to save money, the league stopped handing out participation trophies.
This is another case where in social media there attempts to be one side vs another when there is a common sense middle ground approach. Winners get trophies participants get certificates or patches or medals. As long as those who participate feel they were recognized and rewarded (in a small way) for their dedication this is a good thing. We should honor perseverance. But we should also clearly lavish the winners appropriately to separate their achievements from those who just participated.